I have long respected my Vegan friends as being vegan to me (in the before times) seemed like a lot of effort. And yes, from an ethical and moralistic standpoint I have always totally got it and slightly envied their commitment.
Unfortunately, in my teens; I had a severe eating disorder (anorexia), which doesn’t exactly ‘just go away’ as you continue your journey through life. As an adult I have always had ‘rules’ about my food, not that you’d have known. I never spoke about them.
Going out for dinner I would always choose the one meal that seemed like it might be the ‘lowest calorie’ option, rather than something I would actually enjoy. Vegetarian food, with its heavy reliance on cheese, frankly terrified me. If I did want something I liked e.g. Spinach and Riccotta Cannelloni (yum) I would ‘budget’ in the day i.e. not eat at all, or eat very little.
As a result of ‘the rules’ I would always opt for fish or chicken in the hope that it was the lighter alternative. Also because of ‘the rules’ I would have found that any change in my diet choices would have rocked the very precarious foundation on which I had built my ‘recovery’.
However, a chain of weird events started a couple of years ago which has led to my current ‘Vegan-ish’ situation. And I want to explain, because I think when people say they are vegan, there is an instant judgement about the reasons (fashion trends/needing to be different/self righteous etc) – not that it’s anyone else’s business of course!
It started with going for colonic irrigation, in order to share with my yoga students what it did for me health wise. It is known as a Kriya, within the yoga community, a cleansing practice. In case you are interested; my skin glowed and I had much more energy and better sleep, I highly recommend it. However, you don’t want to hear the ins and *cough* outs…but suffice to say from that day onwards, I never ate red meat again and that’s all I’m saying. I mean it, do not ask.
About 9 months later, there was a breakfast in Dorset whilst on a mini break. My husband and I had paddle boarded over to this particular beach the day before and spotted this cute café which looked out to sea, and we decided to visit the following day. I chose a crab, bubble and squeak with eggs benedict. It was DIVINE. Lick the plate good you know? I think I actually said something along the lines of ‘I want to take a taste picture of this so that I can remember how good it was forever’. I can say, I HAVE never forgotten it; but not for great reasons.
After I’d finished eating, I visited the little shop to try and find some chutneys and started to have a numbness creeping down my arms, up the back of my neck and then into my mouth. I’ll cut a long story quite short, there were paramedics on blue light training who had stopped for a coffee and so happened to be ‘on scene’. They escorted us to hospital where I was treated for anaphylaxis.
Unsurprisingly, I was feeling somewhat dreadful after all that so we decided to head home early. I was pretty gutted for 2 reasons, 1 – I was loving the holiday and 2 – being Jewish I felt I had been thoroughly told off for eating shellfish, which is definitely NOT Kosher… 😉 Oops. Lesson learned.
As a result of that debacle, I started to be a b*** load more careful with my food choices (I was already allergic to citrus) and I had also started to feel uncomfortable about eating chicken. I have a friend who owns a farm and I know how well the animals are treated there. I then started to feel bad about eating a bird from somewhere that might not have been given as good a life as I know my friend would have given it.
When my husband then also started to have negative associations with eating meat (I think because I once said something about how we wouldn’t eat our dogs and what makes one animal more precious than another – something like that). Anyway, I inadvertently, somewhat; traumatised him, and as a result we agreed to no more eating animals.
About a month later, I then I had a hospital appt for an issue that had been bothering me for some time, again – no details, but I was advised to give up caffeine, alcohol and carbonated drinks – more stuff I enjoy gone. I thought I’d give it up for a few days and then be able to say that it hadn’t helped and then the medical types would just be able to give me a magic pill or something.
Over the course of my adult life, I have pretty much used alcohol, caffeine and carbonated (think diet coke) drinks to get me through life so giving it up was A LOT. But I did want to improve my symptoms so I did it, aaaaaannd; it totally worked. Annoying and amazing at the same time.
Giving up alcohol was haaaaard. I’m not saying I was alcohol dependent, but I also kind of was. I’m sure you all know what I mean, a glass of wine to end the day, a few glasses to ‘take the edge off’ social situations, that kind of thing. Giving up alcohol really sent me into a spin and my life kind of shrunk. I couldn’t face going out, seeing people, doing basic activities I loved. It was weird, it affected my WHOLE life not just the social stuff. I felt like I lost myself and got quite depressed with the world too bright, the edges too sharp and nothing to soften it or make it easier to handle.
This ‘fog’ that descended and the desire to drink to deal with stuff lifted in time…kinda. I must admit, I’m still a little edgy about social things and anything that requires me to leave the house takes a lot of mental effort, but I try. But, I am OK at home ‘sans vino’, which I wasn’t for a long while, the house was VERY clean for a while; courtesy of my brain and body not having the cut off of which occurred through pouring that first glass.
I was just getting over those troubles and then…out of nowhere; eczema. For the first time in about 25 years. WTAH. I mean, at this point, I thought I was pretty ‘clean’ in terms of eating but no, of course not. There was one more thing that had to give, dairy – my favourite thing in the whole world.
I knew from an ex boyfriend circa 1998 that dairy was the trigger for his eczema and having given up most things (all meat, alcohol, caffeine. carbonated drinks and citrus) I was favouring quite a bit of ‘the dairy stuff’. I experimented and started using alternatives like oat milk and vegan spread and ‘ta daaah’ my skin cleared up. Kind of annoying in one way; I have always adored cheese. I used to joke with my husband that thanks to my French heritage I cooked everything with garlic, cream, cheese and wine. Oh the irony.
I have tested the dairy thing, in case you are concerned that I gave up on it without fight. Due to feeling absolutely shattered on Saturday, I had a single coffee at a client’s house, which had a splash of cow’s milk in. The skin on my arm flared up so badly that for a brief moment, I considered cutting it off. But, on the plus side, if I hadn’t been sure if it was the dairy…the that little event confirmed it.
And so here we are. I have become an alcohol free, caffeine free, carbonated drink free, accidental Vegan-ish (because I can still have eggs – free range of course) with an allergy to citrus.
Does anyone want to invite me for dinner?
Years ago, as I said; I thought that veganism was admirable but too hard. Having been thrown into it unwittingly, I am delighted to say that eating plant-based is A LOT easier that I would have anticipated. s
So if you’re on the fence; it really is very easy nowadays and for that I am extremely grateful.
I can recommend vegan cheese and vegan spreads along with the more commonly known milk substitutes. Thanks to these, I can still eat the meals that I used to, I’ve just replaced the things I can’t have/don’t want to have, with alternatives. And the choc chip vegan Maryland cookies are spectacular – trust me.
If you’ve held back from moving to plant based, I hope this gives you some confidence that it’s much easier than it used to be. Get in touch if you can relate, or even if you just want to chat about anything like this. I may not love leaving the house, but I do love a chat.
And the next time someone says they are Vegan, try not to judge.
